Numbers and Me

well This is not a secret anymore..

Maths was my Favorite subject back in school. i used to score centums, solve a sum as soon as possible and enjoy looking around in class for people who struggle to complete it. All of this changed after I graduated my UG.

When I started preparing for CAT, the scare for numbers had just started creeping up. After that they were everywhere. in QA,DI even after I got here to XIMB. I have a bloody accounting quiz tomorrow and dunno what to make out of it.. head or tail.

and on top of it I am sleepy too :P

All I ask for..

Well today I realised what exactly I would want from my life, my goals – in fact more so from myself.
 1. A big hug every morning
 2. A job to toil for
 3. People to love
 4. A fabulous set of dress that will make your day, anyday
 5. A lovely pair of sandals to show off
 6. A surprise kiss, sometimes in the forehead too :)
 7. A lazy night with the stars, moon and a gentle breeze
 8. Couple of surprises in life, couple of hardships too
 9. Trust, friendship, strength and love

 As you grow older and wiser (ahem) you realise the strategic shift in priority. Things you considered not so important take a centre stage. A lot of time our decisions are affected by causes we sometimes have no clue about. At the same time it is these factors, that takes us forward in life.

Ever wondered when you stopped depending on your mommy and daddy and grew up far from them mentally? I think that stage of mine started soon after UG (it was there at UG too but I kind of had to put an end to it) I am currently doing a lot of mistakes (me and my choice of words) and learning from them too. I am in charge of myself. I know what is right and what is wrong. I am currently doing what I feel. And guess what it feels bloody great!!


(P.S wanted to elaborate more on part 6 but the location seems way outta league and I have a quiz tommorow :D)

JLT's and Other stuff

Everybody here thinks I am a mature person who does not emote so much and probably takes everything in my slide :) Ha Ha.. Aint it funny?

Well there probably is a reason why they think that Marks don't affect me anymore - cause i have craved for intelligence which leads u beyond these numbers. That street smartness which cannot be limited by rattofying what you'd do to clear a quiz...

Also cause gossips don't affect and I try not to gossip too.. I mean I understand how much it hurts when you talk about another person even for fun - how harmless words can break a heart.. I don't want to indulge in something like that. And I love those JLT's(Just Like That party's) where you can let your hair down and dance as stupid and as long as possible - anything's allowed as long as you enjoy yourself!! I thoroughly do. But I have gotta learn so much here and I have not even started :D



but Back to the basics now.. Had my sis and parents and my ladies been around they'd have laughed - I mean me and responsible? you are kidding right?

Cant Wait to fill them in with the stories. Chennai I miss you and I am coming to visit you soon :*

P.S I am writing this post after a long session of Emotional Quotient and Leadership talk at the audi where I was with PV, Saarpy, Vigneshwari and swetha in that order :)

I am mere HUMAN

I had my MEM exam today.. Had studied too much yesteray.. Pbly one of the reasons I thought I'd do well today.. But didnt

But the worst part aint that. We are still fighting :( My friend's got a near PPO from a guy who manages a consulting firm (and the firm works for MWR's M) and I never received the call I was expecting to receive..

So guess what I am going to do what I do Always :) Good Nightt

Me and XIMB

My dear darling blog
I know I am updating you after a long time. I am sorry. It is just that today I come before you and I hope that someday when I read this blog post again, wonder where the hell did I go wrong(again!!).
I will give you a glimpse of how a normal day @ XIMB is.
You get up anywhere b/w 6.30 to 7.30 of course depends on when you sleep the day before.
You brush your teeth, rush into bath, choose your dress for the day and then leave (with your bag) for the mess.
Have breakfast – well I learnt how to eat idly & vadai with a spoon. Isn’t that great? (I mean it is fairly simple. You just have to subtly cut the little white blob on your plate, let the white watery chutney wash it down, then pick it up, dip it in sambaar and put it into your mouth. Repeat same process for vadai until done.)
Then run to class. This is where I sleep or answer or stay pro-active or even listen depending on the kinda class that happens. Earlier we used to have a break after lunch so that was used to refresh ourselves for the evening classes and beyond!! But (yaar kannu pattucho) athuvum pochu. 5-6 hrs classes.. theliyavechu theliyavechu odhaikaranga..
Atha vida koduma is the mess ka khana khazana.. Half cooked or not even cooked lady’s finger, mushroom, soya and god knows there s one more vegetable whose seeds pop in your mouth. So after class you are tired. You either browse or do an assignment or prepare for a quiz or attend committee meetings or take an X-Walk or talk to your loved ones, skype em, or think of an initiative or plainly pull over your blanket and sleep. There are guest lectures, festivals, business formals and a lot of nice guys (well a l’l desperate too but you can’t blame them for that now can u? :P)
Life here is sure different. Made me think, made me wonder. But I ponder one thing constantly.
What is it that I want and How far am I willing to go get it?
(BTW the song ondra renda from kakka kakka is playing in the background!!)

Sleep my worries Away!!

Okie I am feeling a l’l weird today. Probably because I am not the heroine of the day. Well maybe.. maybe not. I am a l’l critical today, so if my tone reflects the same do mind.

It all started on Friday, 12th of August. Had loads of laughter after a funny dig at erm.. well you-know-who s and returned back to the room. Slowly ppl started leaving home.. one by one. The corridor was almost empty. Just me and my opposite aathukara…

You see in times like these you feel like having a person close. Someone you can authoritatively call up and tell them hey I am feeling so down, do talk to me’. Or anybody you can yell at or even flirt coyly with. Nobody.. a barren feeling that
starts from your heart, wrenches your gut and leaves you feeling weird..

So I decided to do something about it. (Okie I am procrastinating and I am not going to anything about it! ) I decided to sleep my worries away.. So that’s what I am going to do now. Pull my banket over and shut the rest of the world out. Good Night l’l darling.















And baby Get over it!!

The Magic Mirror

The Magic Mirror

Once upon a time in a land far, far away,
There lived a peasant named (Bibhatsu) Bi
He was intelligent and he was kind
He helped so much that he stayed in everybody’s mind.

An intense famine drove them out of their village, but Bi was never scared.
He pulled his friends (young and old) and everybody that he cared.

They reached the nearby land that was ruled by a wise and a just king.
He had a beautiful daughter on whose hand there was no (wedding) ring.
But she had a wonderful treasure that was far beyond the world
She had a magic mirror, each day a new story unfurled.

This mirror can scan the air, water and land to find anything she held dear;
And the king wanted to marry off his daughter to anybody who can thwart the magic mirror.
A lot of contestants tried their luck; they flew so high and swam so deep.
But none could fool the magic mirror; they became a part of the failed heap.

Thus entered our hero, braving the nature’ spite.
The fate that had befallen, has led him to this respite.
He went to the court to meet the king and tell him his tale of woe,
But cupid intervened; he saw the princess and immediately fell in love.

The princess had the same feeling too, something she did not show,
She longed for him to win and marry him somehow.

So Bi accepted the challenge and asked for three days time.
In case he fails within that, he chose to resign (to his fate).
Thought and thought was all he did, for times so long and hard
Until the idea stuck him, so forcefully he fell on his back.

Three days later the princess checked the mirror; she searched and searched in vain.
He was neither on land, nor in the air, nor in water; Oh! What a joy she gained.

Two days later he emerged victorious, the king married them off with great pomp and joy
Bi became the king, princess became the queen and all his friends sang ahoy.

Where did you go? – The young bride cooed,
How did you manage a really challenging feat?
To which he beamed at her and replied
Darling, I was right under your feet.

My Twelve Commandments!!

The following are the things that I Learnt (in the order that I learnt them)

1. Guys look real cute when they are in formals. (We had this TT on the way back to Chennai, and man he was real cute. But he was so immune to our(me and my friend's) charms – didn’t even glance our way) he he it is learning thought is it not? okie serious now!

2. It is important to love yourself. It is only from this love does the best of decisions spring from.

3. It is not just enough to love yourself but also understand there are certain misgivings that make us who we are.

4. Be confident and stay confident. I have spent half my life thinking what others would think about me only to realize they don’t spend much time doing that.

5. I have also lost as many opportunities because of the above option because I fail to be myself. I have lost as much fun.

6. Communication is everything. Don’t let people fool you otherwise. It is good if you are a nice person and all that but it is better if you can learn to communicate well.

7. Keep those emotions in check.

8. Don’t fall for a guy because he is cute. He might just be the kind of person you might not want in your life.

9. Call up friends as often as you can. Cause if you don’t they are bound to forget you and trust me you wouldn’t like it one bit.

10. Don’t worry about l’l things in life. It is just not worth it.

11. It is your decisions that matter a lot. Nothing more.
It is not our abilities that make us who we are, it is our choices

12. Finally, it is up here (in your mind) you picture that you can do it then you can. You picture that you cannot do it then you just might be right!!

Back To School!! Pack my Wits & Confidence & Open-mindness & attitude & intellect ... Well you get the idea!!

I quit my job!

yup you heard me right. I quit my well paying, safe/secure cubicle with great people, lovely team and wonderful opportunities job.. (Darn it, is that where I was working?!!)

I quit because I am going back to school again - a business school this time!!

Xavier's Institute of Management, Bhubaneswar called me for an interview for their PGDM course. I was too excited. Gave in my interview but they kinda waitlisted me.

Gave a couple of other interviews as well (XLRI sent me a interview letter yay!! yay!! yay!! - okie so I blew it - cause I was a bit too nervous for their taste. Apparantly my charm button was switched off!! Period.)

And I thought it was the end of another drought season for me - third time lucky huh, who ever thought of stuff like that??

(here I have to spin a l'l flashback - I ll make it quick.

wrote CAT 2008/XAT 2009- scored 93 missed out on a lot of b schools. wrote CAT2009/XAT 2010 - screwed up both. wrote CAT2010/XAT2011 - cat screwed me[and that was darn painful mind you] but XAT saved me. so here I am attending interviews for 5 clgs and they all waitlisted me)

I received a promotion so i thought ok Let me be a nice gal and not hate my job, my lead, my team, my neighbours, my floor, my restroom (they sense your emergencies and run outta water!!), I receive a mail that says (play the pianos and give the angels the cue pls,
la,la la la la )

Dear Vinithra Sivaraman

blaha blah blah blah - YOU ARE ADMITTED - blah blah blah blah!!

so here I am. packing my bags to get to XimB!!
I am going to pursue my PGDM in HRM - a core HR specialization :P

Yay yay yay!!!
Thank You dear God! and to my sis (she incepted the mba idea into my brain) & to my mom (for accepting that her daughter is a l'l crazy in the head, i am guessing my dad always knew that truth.)

and btw I will be jobless for the nxt one year+ so guys be nice to me!!! :P :P

A long Day!

It certainly was a long day.. Didnt start that way though! I can still hear the voice, the message!
Why does it pain more? Wish I was around to hold you so close that nobody would hurt you , - ever. Nothing bad would befall you..
Save you from the rest of the world and keep you happy.
Funny how I always thought you were more responsible and how things turned out a couple of weeks back.

I do not know why but I cried!!

After all these years I realized one important thing – it is easier to gain wait. But it is hell a lot tougher to get it off.. thing is it adds up some calories at a time without you even realizing it. I mean you cant say no if the oriya guy comes back from his hometown carrying small curvy burfis whose fluffy white is calling out your name.
Nor can you ignore those cute round pedas that fit into your hands like they are made to be held and savored.
Throw in a milk cake here (happy birthday ji) or a Kaju kathli there (I have a son jo karega mera naam roushan) you just cant get rid of them. Some people are really kind. They bring two dabbas of pure ghee, high fat, incontrollable stuff like ladoos, kala jamuns, rasgullas, govas even Jangris and Jalebis. But nothing takes the cake like kaesar peda. I mean they are soft, there is a lovely, mild yet overpowering orangish yellow with a slice of badam playing hide and seek amidst that sweety richness – you can only wish you are born a kesar peda next birth J
Okie I am not a big enemy of all the savouries either. If the time is 5.45 pm and you are hungry (or not) you can silently make your way to the chat section where the north Indian chat guy teaches us national integrity – I eat all. Be it aloo chat(too much of big plump aloo still paisa vasool huh?) or dahi paapdi, dahi samosae J or samosa chenna, or just a mixed chat (for people who want everything in life… well almost!!)
When I wake up next morning and my favorite dress doesn’t fit me in a lotta places I am aghast!! How can I get so fat? Man I am so not going to eat anything sweet/oily today. I sit in my cubicle when I get a mail –
“Chocolates from US at my desk. Pls help yourself.
P.S – our onsite manager has sent in Ferrero Roschers just for our team“
Dress? What dress?

The worst day of my-life-so-far

Ok it is official. Today has been the worst day of my life. For a lot of reasons.
It feels like missing that teddy bear.
Or having to give a guest your favorite candy.
Like missing the first rank because your best friend forgets to mention that she was science teacher’s pet.
Like missing your dream company because, the water lorry split water on you, on the way to the interview.
Like when you realize that the guy you have a crush on, has a crush on your enemy.
Like when they tell you that you are waitlisted for a college @ 253 when they have only 240 seats.
I don’t want to move on. For once I want to stay here and re- live my happy moments. Every single one of them.

I miss Kung Fu Panda at a time like this.

Grand Master Oogway could always find a solution for my problems :(

I miss a lot of stuff. It didn’t have to end this way. It didnt have to end at all!!

React to this!!

Every morning I wake up I tell myself a lot of things…
I promise not to react/emote to any situation. I told myself that in two years I have seen enough to understand that S**t happens and you cannot prevent it. But you can prevent it from getting ugly. You can control your reaction to it, and the faster you try finding a solution, the faster everybody gets outta office. (Even easier is to push it right back to onsite – ha ha take that!!)
I tell myself that I will stay positive irrespective of what happens to me today. Causes there are days which start really bad then get a total make over (not unlike our desi Jassi) and end up giving you something to celebrate for. There are also days which start perfect (I mean I start early, the train comes in just as I touch the platform so I don’t have to wait and the weather gets slightly windy, my music player starts my favorite song ) and them suddenly it also takes a big U –turn
P.S: oh! Don’t ask. My TL comes back with a huge set of C and UNIX stuff to be done (me and programming are like water and wine) with a 5.00 pm deadline. Worst was this – my module was descoped. But I have been testing it chumma cause they were billing me and didn’t want me to be idle (ok I dint test much but this idle time introduced me to quite a set of yahoo and other blogs). One fine day, my manager dropped a gundu* the descoped module is the starting point of testing for two other modules that is waiting to get to CIT (component level testing). And that the deadline was the next day. So effectively I had two days to make it work. When I tried executing a code that morning it didn’t budge, irrespective of testing umpteen times (I did work a couple of times when my internet was down you know :D) I was slogging my ass off for two days trying everything I had learnt in my two years time. But nothing worked. Then one day this other lady in my team s asked to help in, she tries and lo and behold it is working. (BTW I kept asking her what she did and she said- I did NOTHING!!!beat that)
Ok back to the topic. I am writing this because I am feeling stupid. And I am feeling stupid because I couldn’t control my reaction for that one second.
Stupid cause I (am-a-urban-woman-you-cant-give-me-crap – that’s me) had a fight with a work-is-my-first-all-else-comes-next dude. My other guy friend says (quoting his exact words) “Guyz are meant to be like that. Especially, the responsible ones. See, they would want to work hard (read it as all the time) because they would want to take care of their family. Their wives will be happy. They will be financially secure. I wish I could work like that too” What is with all these guyz?
Well I have a theory (these days I have one for everything!!)
Some five years back guys had to compete only with themselves and the other guys. I guess this day, not only are they competing not only with the dames, but also the dame’s feminine beauty. (Survey says beautiful people get their way more often. [If you are a beautiful gal the deal just got better for you baby!!] Don’t believe me? Go Google!)
But our fellow guys didn’t have to worry much. The guy bonding is stronger than anything else. They have this strange understanding, that they’d take the new guy into their wing and teach them with a passion like Dronacharya and Arjuna. Even the great Don Corleone took Micheal under his wing to teach him his worldly knowledge. Plus there is these general idea that – hey man don’t sweat. She might put all that effort until she gets married. It is the guy who’ll support the company in the long run.
And we let them get away with that. (I still hope I can stop reacting everything that happens around me. Doesn’t see that happening in the near future :{ )
I only have this suggestion to all those men who consider Work more important than anything else – Call it a plea too..
I understand that work comes first. I understand work pays for your laptops, your X boxes, your fancy tees and treats. But work will not pay for your youth, nor will it give back the lost time of your lives. It will certainly not make your lady love blush like she did when she saw you first time. I am not saying you have to chuck work and leave at 6. I am saying make some time in a day for your hobbies and certainly some time for your lady. After all doesn’t she deserve an hour of your time everyday?




Gundu – in this sense means a bombshell people.

The Chills and Thrills of Waiting

We All have one thing in common in our life. The Wait.



We have waited for the bus to arrive, for our friend to turn up, for our lady love (erm err the men too :D ), for our offical letters, for a particular date or even just hoping and waiting that it'd be 12.00 pm on the day of your birthday. (ha ha ask me.. I used to live that moment 6 months before that start of my b'day month!!)

Well certain 'wait's are happiest. they bring joy because you know you are going to enjoy it. the best part is the wait makes us more happy than the thing/place/happening itself.

And then there is the wait that pains. Like getting your results. They make you nervous, swings your mood. It eats up your time and your consciousness.
I am experiencing the latter. Hate the wait. Hate the 10 or so days where you have to remain patient. One moment you are confident, the next so distraught. Starry eyed, spaced-out. The sand flows noiselessly, the droplets of time slips unnoticed. The sun sets in the horizon, the pathways get dark. There is a shimer of hope, a distant candle that burns. Hope lifts its head as the night sets in and the wait continues………….